Listening to death cab for cutie always gets me into a funny mood. I wouldn't say that their music makes me feel sad.. i guess they just always put me into a reflective mood

   Anyway, i've been doing a lot of thinking this summer. The end of my university life is nearing and the prospect of having to become a proper working adult is scary. But i guess in my case i'll be deferring my entry into society for another year - if i do the Bar in the UK that'll take a year; if i don't and i end up coming back to Msia, i'll still be doing my CLP which will also take a year. But still. If 2 years of university can pass by in a blink of an eye, 1 year of the Bar/CLP will be over in flash. And then i'll really have to get a job. dammit.

   I don't know how I'm going to survive in the outside world. After talking to a friend at work and some of my other colleagues, reality hit me hard - i am still so dependent on my parents. I'm spoiled and sheltered. I don't blame my parents for that. I know they did what they did and continue to do what they do because they love me and i am forever grateful for them and everything they've done. it's my fault as well for not being a bit more independent. I've become so jaded and comfortable with having everything done for me that i just naturally assume my parents will take care of everything for me. And even though i may say that i want to be more independent, the sad thing is that at the end of the day, I will once again end up letting my parents take care of my matters for me. I wish i had more discipline to just get off my lazy arse and take charge of my own matters. But i don't.   

   I have a rough idea of how i want my life to play out and in that plan of mine, I see that i seriously SERIOUSLY need to step up. This summer holiday has made me realise that there are so many things i could be doing at my age.  

   And i just realised that this entry is all over the place. haha. ah well. i'm too lazy to restructure so that it makes more sense. Not an essay so don't care. bah.